![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
ophelia11Despite being in a happy relationship with the cutest french guy in the world, sometimes I can't help thinking about someone I liked for a long time. We never met up, so nothing ever came of it, and maybe that makes it even harder. I've always thought that the hardest things to get over are the things that never happened. Even when I've been dumped and fucked over by someone, I can at least thing well, we had those few happy days together at least. But when you never even get a chance to try with someone, to experience what it's like to kiss them or sleep next to them, those "what if" feelings just haunt you.
Maybe I'm just a bad person, but I can't help feeling sad and frustrated. I know I should just cut this person off, but I can't seem to stay away. I don't even really LIKE him, it's something different. Maybe I should just put this down to being young and restless and doing long distance. This other person is never going to give me the time of day (I've tried so many times to meet up and he's never responded), he just likes to tease me and mess with me, because he knows he can :( my friends say, you're so attractive, you could have anyone you want, but that's not true, I can't. All I want is his attention, that's it. And I find when I get that, for a few minutes or whenever, I feel better, like I've achieved something. I can recognise how unhealthy it is, and I shouldn't even be feeling this way when I'm with someone else :(
For the record, I'm not cheating on my boyfriend, but last night it was like this person was trying to make me. He knows I'm with someone else, and he's still doing this.. I told him I was going to sleep, and he just seemed to find it hilarious. It's all my fault for letting him in each time anyway.
I'm just typing this here because I feel like too much of an awful person to tell any of my friends, please don't hate me.
Maybe I'm just a bad person, but I can't help feeling sad and frustrated. I know I should just cut this person off, but I can't seem to stay away. I don't even really LIKE him, it's something different. Maybe I should just put this down to being young and restless and doing long distance. This other person is never going to give me the time of day (I've tried so many times to meet up and he's never responded), he just likes to tease me and mess with me, because he knows he can :( my friends say, you're so attractive, you could have anyone you want, but that's not true, I can't. All I want is his attention, that's it. And I find when I get that, for a few minutes or whenever, I feel better, like I've achieved something. I can recognise how unhealthy it is, and I shouldn't even be feeling this way when I'm with someone else :(
For the record, I'm not cheating on my boyfriend, but last night it was like this person was trying to make me. He knows I'm with someone else, and he's still doing this.. I told him I was going to sleep, and he just seemed to find it hilarious. It's all my fault for letting him in each time anyway.
I'm just typing this here because I feel like too much of an awful person to tell any of my friends, please don't hate me.
